Monday, October 20, 2008

a moment for manners

"Good manners reflect something from inside - an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." -- Emily Post

I picked this book up at the library, looking for something that would not obsess my brain with a plot line while I was moving - (that is, something I could read a bit of and then be able to put down to get back to unpacking!) I just finished it up, and must say it was an interesting refresher in good manners. I think more people need to read it, although I'm guessing the people who really ought to read it will probably never pick it up.

I was confronted with a situation where this book's advice came in handy just two days ago. A mother at the soccer game passed out invitations to her daughter's birthday party to other moms... but only a few. Now really, I don't expect my daughter to be invited to every party and event held by others, especially if she's not close to this particular girl. I don't have hurt feelings, and my daughter doesn't even know about this situation, I just was surprised at the lack of consideration to the other mothers present while the invitations were handed out (especially when they started gushing about the party theme and gift ideas.)

Peggy Post says in Dilemma #39:
Don't distribute invitations at day care or preschool (and I'll add: any other group/class activity) unless everyone gets one. Prevent hurt feelings by mailing invitations or making phone calls to those who are invited instead.

Peggy also says that when you are confronted with bad manners, the only well-mannered thing to do is to handle it with grace and not make the ill-mannered party feel badly. I am not posting this occurrence here as some sort of rant, but simply as a reminder to please be considerate of others... thank you.

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