What is a good gift?

I have recently had several conversations with women who are already stressed about Christmas. Not visiting family, or traveling, no - instead they are stressed over finances for gifts. Perhaps you are one of them.

One of these conversations involved a list of things one woman said she has to buy for her kids (for gifts). I heard the desperation over how much the list will cost, and the inevitable stress she is preparing for now, to be able to get through what it will take to buy these things. Perhaps you can relate to her.

Here's what was running through my mind while I listened to her - Have to buy? Inevitable stress? These are choices made, not facts of life.

I realize we all want to give good gifts to our children. Jesus even said this is a reflection of how God Himself wants to give us His Holy Spirit (Who brings with Him a bounty of wonderful gifts into our lives!)

But what does a "good gift" truly look like?

There are many meanings for the word good. One that I noticed while reading through these definitions is "healthy, beneficial". Are expensive gifts beneficial to our kids? I know they can be fun for a time, but does more money spent equal more fun? And at what cost? Does making our kids happy require a certain dollar figure, stress, frustration, fights with our spouses, and the long-term effects of letting our kids grow up thinking material consumerism is healthy?

A friend told me yesterday she does not want her kids to have a poverty complex - to feel like they have to pinch and scrape and do without, with the underlying basis of fear - because God is a generous God. I agree.

I also know, from experience, that "blessing" does not mean "being rich and the absence of money problems". If that were so, then God would be short-sighted, which He most certainly is not. While He wants us to have every good thing He can pour out in our laps, these things have a more eternal wrapping on them, and they come, not from a jolly old elf, but His powerful Holy Spirit. Unexplainable Joy... Peace Despite Circumstances... Wisdom...A Future and a Hope... Love... And More and More, because God is limitless!

As we've seen, God's lavish gifts are not things that can be measured or priced. God even gave His Son, whose birth we celebrate at Christmas, which was an immeasurable gift with profound possibility - life without separation from Him.

That leaves us at a disadvantage, especially since we do not have the vast universe at our disposal for creating perfect gifts for each person on our list. Perhaps that is why we are tempted to spend so much - money feels like the currency of most worth that we humans can get our hands on (what, you don't have a Tree of Faith in your yard, or a Big Box of Peace in your closet?)

Part of the meaning of gift is "something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned." Do any of us deserve the gifts we receive, either from God or from others? Obviously not. So that leads me to ponder, what do our children deserve as gifts? Somehow, "more money spent = more special gifts" just doesn't quite sound right to me in this light.

Is money the only valuable currency you have? On the contrary; you, yes you, have things can be gifts to others. Another meaning for the word gift is "natural endowment, talent". Take a moment and make a mental list of the natural talents you have. Ask God to show you what they are, if you are having trouble coming up with something - He knows how He made you! With a little thought, those talents can be turned into gifts for others.

Are you crafty? The possibilities are endless! Are you craft-impaired, but willing? There are magazines and blogs and websites galore that can give you ideas and directions to make special gifts that are not complicated or costly. Can you cook? I don't know anyone who would not appreciate a home-baked treat or home-cooked meal.

What about your time? Time is a precious gift. Make up a "gift card" that offers a special "date" - a meal, or an ice cream cone, or coffee (for adult recipients, unless your kids are immune to caffeine) with time to sit and chat. Or how about for a "fun day with Mom and Dad" of games, movies, and whatever else your kids enjoy doing, all in the comfort of your home, with your undivided attention. I'm sure you can come up with more ideas besides these. Please share them, too, as I always need new ideas!

Your choices regarding gifts will impact your children in ways you may not see now. Will they remember every gift you stress yourself out to be able to afford? I doubt it. I know they will remember the peace, love, and joy that surrounds them when their home is filled with God's Spirit - the true Spirit of Christmas.

worked up about something?

Two days ago, my girls were fighting. More like, one girl was screaming, and the other was being stubbornly quiet and aloof.

I stepped in as Referee since Screamer would not stop, she was so worked up and upset, her volatile mood suggesting physical retribution would soon follow if things didn't change.


Me, to Aloof: Did you do what she is accusing you of?

Aloof: No. (with shoulder shrugs and hair tosses included for emphasis)

Screamer interjects: She DID!

Me, to Screamer: I'm taking care of it, please be quiet.

Screamer: But she DID!

Me, to Screamer: OK, I'm talking to her about it, you need to let me take care of it.

Me, to Aloof: So, did you do this? If not, what's your side of the story?

Aloof: No, I didn't. (then tightly seals lips as if there's nothing left to say)

Screamer has now calmed down to being more of a Loud Whiner...: Yes she DIIIIDDDD...

Aloof: No I didn't, harrumph.

Loud Whiner: Yes you DIIIDDDD...

Me, to Loud Whiner: Stop! I heard you the first time, I know there is a problem, and I'm here taking care of it! You need to stop whining and be quiet - let me take care of it!







This was one of those profound moments when God says "Ahem!" in my head, and I hear His heart through the words I've just spoken to my child.


I've had those times when I'm so frustrated, so upset, so wrapped up in a problem - so I do the right thing by taking it to God, but then even after giving it to Him, I keep going. Every time I talk to God about it again, I get worked up and upset again. And if I talk to someone else, I know I sound whiney, even though I don't want to, really, it's just such an issue, you know.

And He's sitting there waiting.

Waiting for me to give it up entirely.

And even though I know He's the most perfectly patient Father, He's gently saying:

You know, I heard you the first time, my child. I know there is a problem, and I AM here taking care of it. Will you stop whining... and let me take care of it?

Fingerprint Friday - { you }

You - yes, you - are a fingerprint of God.

I have spent over a year participating in Fingerprint Friday, taking time to notice God's handiwork in the world around me, be it children, animals, plants, even bugs!

But the Lord prompted me recently to turn the camera on myself.

And I said to myself, "Me?? But I'm not sweet and cute like a child or a butterfly... I have scars and grey hair and 'those places'" (you know, the ones that never went back to where they used to be before having babies!)

And He says, "Yes, you. Those scars are from things that made you who you are. Grey hairs are from experience. And bearing children is a beautiful thing that you did with your life. These things make you unique, which is what makes you lovely to Me."

Just because I'm a grown up doesn't mean I've outgrown being made by His hands. In fact, I'm being changed from the inside out by Him each and every day.





I would like to challenge all Fingerprint Friday readers to go to a mirror and look at yourself, and as soon as you start mentally pointing out the flaws you usually notice, stop! Concentrate on looking at the beautiful things God made in you (you know what they are, we're just often to self-critical to notice!) Perhaps your smile, the color of your eyes, freckles, the color of your skin... oh, and what's that shining out of you? It's Him!

I further challenge all Fingerprint Friday posters, in the next couple of weeks, be bold! Use a picture of yourself for FF! You can do it! We will all encourage you and lift you up - that's a wonderful part of what FF is all about!

Show us the fingerprint that is YOU.



There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that says:
I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know its true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

So look around you and see where YOU can see God's fingerprints. Is it in nature? Kids? Animals? Where do you see them? Here's how to join in:

1. Blog with your interpretation of God's fingerprints.

2. Be sure to link so others can find the entire list of participants! Go over to PamperingBeki's blog to add your link to the list of participants.

A Bend In the Road

by Helen Steiner Rice

When we feel we have nothing left to give
And we are sure that the song has ended,
When our day seems over and the shadows fall
And the darkness of night has descended,
Where can we go to find the strength
To valiantly keep on trying?
Where can we find the hand that will dry
The tears that the heart is crying?

There's but one place to go and that is to God,
And, dropping all pretense and pride,
We can pour out our problems without restraint
And gain strength with Him at our side.
And together we stand at life's crossroads
And view what we think is the end,
But God has a much bigger vision,
And He tells us it's only a bend.

For the road goes on and is smoother,
And the pause in the song is a rest,
And the part that's unsung and unfinished
Is the sweetest and richest and best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load.
Your work is not finished or ended,
You've just come to a bend in the road.

Fingerprint Friday { tender hearts }

Recently we went to a fun party with our church at a local ranch. Part of the entertainment was a rodeo, as well as a race for the kids out in the rodeo arena.

Groups of 3-6 kids squeezed together into the big float tubes you'd use at the pool, then ran around cones racing each other as if they were in a rodeo.

Nicole & Claire were in a tube together with some other kids, but Claire was the smallest of the bunch. When they got going, she tripped and fell out through the bottom of the cluster of kids and out of the tube. When Nicole noticed, she shoved her way out of the tube while the other kids keep going, and ran back to help her sister up and held her as she cried.

I had tears in my eyes as I snapped this shot.

God gave my girls such tender hearts for each other. He made them fiercely loyal, too.

I took this picture so I could remember this moment on the days when it's easy to forget this fact ;)

(In case you're wondering why I didn't rush out there myself, or why the other grown ups in the rodeo arena weren't helping - the race was still actually going at this point, but my girls were out of harm's way.)




There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that says:
I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know its true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

So look around you and see where YOU can see God's fingerprints. Is it in nature? Kids? Animals? Where do you see them? Here's how to join in:

1. Blog with your interpretation of God's fingerprints.

2. Be sure to link so others can find the entire list of participants! Go over to PamperingBeki's blog to add your link to the list of participants.

Fingerprint Friday { forgiveness }

I have struggled the last couple of days with how to forgive selfishness and unkindness shown toward me. I know in my spirit that I needed to do this, yet it has been almost a physical struggle and I could feel it like raging pain inside. I know that holding on to unforgiveness can cause serious side effects - mental stress, sleep deprivation, and even sickness - but the war to choose to forgive is a great one and the battlefield is your mind.

This morning, I was reminded of a study on forgiveness that I did this past fall, and some wise principles I learned there.

Forgiveness is not saying what others did to you was ok.

It is simply a choice to allow God to work instead of trying to work it yourself.

When you choose to do something and begin to do it, even when you don't feel like it, the feelings will follow.

And then, as I was doing schoolwork with my daughter later this morning, I looked down at her Bible verse of the week, and was astonished that the Lord would choose to speak to me straight from my daughter's school paper:

"Be gentle and ready to forgive;
never hold grudges.
Remember, the Lord forgave you,
you must forgive others."
Colossians 3:13

I am not always gentle. I have made many mistakes of my own. And God freely chose to pay the price so that I could be forgiven of all these things - I cannot even begin to express my gratitude. So I can choose to forgive the offenses against me, and my feelings will follow.

This is the greatest fingerprint God left on earth -
Forgiveness paid for by His Son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that says:
I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know its true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

So look around you and see where YOU can see God's fingerprints. Is it in nature? Kids? Animals? Where do you see them? Here's how to join in:

1. Blog with your interpretation of God's fingerprints.

2. Be sure to link so others can find the entire list of participants! Go over to PamperingBeki's blog to add your link to the list of participants.

truths in the sky

This morning as I was about to wake up, in that frustrating tossing & turning state, I had a disconcerting dream. I dreamt that Chad died suddenly. It was a very vague dream, not a lot of details, but the most difficult part of this dream for me was that in the dream I was not emotionally affected at all - it felt so cold and clinical as I made decisions for what to do with my life and the lives of my kids without a husband. There was no sadness, no tears.

I woke up without my alarm, I was completely disoriented and had an empty feeling inside. It was dark out, darker than it should have been for 6AM - what was going on? I need to burn some weird-dream-energy, so I immediately got dressed for a run and stepped outside.

Ah, here's why it was dark - half the sky was covered with dark, heavy, grey storm clouds... but the other half was just white poufs with blue sky. Which was it going to do, storm or clear up? I couldn't tell, so I decided to run half a mile to get a feel of the weather and see what happened, then keep going if there was no lightning.

As I did, I kept mulling over my dream. What would I do if my husband passed away suddenly? I have thought about this before, actually. I don't like to think about it, and I don't want to be morbid, but it is a possibility all married women should consider from time to time, so that we don't have to make a bunch of decisions out of nowhere if such a terrible crisis should arise, emotions could get in the way. But I have thought about it before, so why this dream? What was going on? While some people do have prophetic dreams (dreams that foreshadow the future), I don't believe that my personal dreams are prophetic. I do, however, believe that God sometimes speaks to me in my dreams. Are you trying to say something, Jesus?

The sky seemed to be clearing, so I turned a corner, headed east, and caught my breath as I saw red and pink blazing everywhere above me- the half of the sky that wasn't under the storm cloud was the half where the sun was rising. It was a breathtaking site. I enjoyed it for half a block, and then had to turn again at the end of the street.

Could it be? To my right, suspended at the edge of the storm clouds, was a brilliant strip of rainbow! I stared at it for an entire block, then turned around to go back, sad to think that I wouldn't get to look at it anymore for this portion of the run. As I turned around, I was stunned. Behind me had been the rest of a beautiful rainbow arch, gracefully adorning a huge portion of the sky, and I hadn't even known it.

There are several thoughts that came to my mind at this point.

1. Storms in life are hard, sometimes very hard, like losing a husband. "Why" is a question often asked. But without the clouds, there would have been no spectacular sunrise, and no rainbow. God can make beauty from anything if we will let Him into our pain. His love is perfect, unlike human love, which means He has the best of intentions and He follows through with them by keeping His promises.

2. If I had kept my focus only on that one strip of rainbow, I would have missed seeing the rest of the beauty behind me. The big picture is not mine to see all the time, but I will miss it if I don't keep my eyes open.

3. God knew I needed to hear from Him this morning - I didn't want to wander around all day wondering & thinking about the dream, my imagination running wild. He woke me up when my alarm wasn't set, to go running and see as He painted across the sky to show me again how He loves me, and if He loves me that much to express it in such a way, I can trust that He'll take care of me in every other detail of my life, regardless of my so-called plans.

The rainbow faded. I headed home. And for the final 3/10th of a mile that I ran, a gentle shower rained down on me. It was too much, my heart was full to overflowing - I broke out in a crazy, love-struck smile - He loves me!

...See if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. Malachi 3:10

Something Beautiful

I went to my first Newsboys concert with Melissa. I'd never heard of them, so she assured me that they were great, and she loaned me a tape (a what??) before we went so I could hear their music. It was actually their first and only release at the time.

I was hooked from the beginning. It's hard to believe they are still around making fabulous music 15 years later, when most bands fizzle after a few years. Oh wait, yes I can believe it, because they're fabulous!

Not only that, but this song is lyrically moving on a deeper level than you may think it is when you hear it the first time. The music is peppy, not slow like most profound songs tend to be. But listen past the tune, and you may be moved. I get a catch in my throat every time I hear it. I love it so much, I put it in my playlist in the sidebar, too!

And don't miss the bride's smile -
it is electric, she lights up the room.




God's love for you is something beautiful.
He lights up with a huge smile everytime you walk into a room.
Yes, YOU!

Gifts That Bring Hope

I know there are a lot of causes out there that ask for our help at this time of year. I chose a long time ago to help only specific causes every year, and one is Samaritan's Purse.

First, we began packing a shoebox every year for Operation Christmas Child.

Now, this year, my husband & I have agreed to give each other a gift that will actually help another family, through Samaritan's Purse Gift Catalog, and we're also doing this as gifts for a few who we know will enjoy this concept.

Choose a gift that is the amount you would normally spend on "stuff", then find something in the catalog for that amount that touches your heart and will help families in underprivledged countries. The gift will be given in the name of your friend/family.

Think of it:

a basket of chicks given to a family as a way to make money for themselves by selling eggs & chickens, plus food for themselves

medical supplies & vaccinations for Samaritan's Purse doctors to use in the field

supply a family with clean water through well-digging projects

and much more...